This is Stuart Ian Burns signing off.

Life I went to sign off today. After waiting for a few minutes at the Job Centre reception, I handed the clerk my 'UB40'.
"I'd like to sign off please."
"Oh. Right. What's gone on?"
"I've found a part time job. It's only at the weekends but the pay is more than I get for signing on so I thought I'd better sign off. Plus, I'm selling programmes at the Grand National for the next few days."
"Good." He opens up the book. Turns out, inside there are instructions for signing off and a form to fill in. "Fill in these sections and hand it back. You can fill it in on the counter if you like. Here's a pen."
"OK."

I stand at the counter and begin to fill it in.

Section one is asking for full time job details, but says I don't have to fill it in if I don't want to. I don't have the details with me and it's not full time anyway, so I don't.

The next section is to list any other benefits. I'm not claiming any other benefits so I don't fill that in either.

The third section wonders what other reasons I might have for signing off. I write in my illegible scrawl what I'd already told the gentleman -- "I've found a part time job. It's only at the weekends but the pay is more than I get for signing on so I thought I'd better sign off" -- in I hope a slightly more articulate way.

The final section is a declaration stating that I've been looking for a job, that I'm not any more, and I'd like to sign off or words to that effect.

I sign in the box.

I hand the book back the the clerk. He checks it.
"I couldn't fill in the first section because..." And I say everything I've just said in the last few paragraphs here.
"That's fine. I'll get that sort out for you."
"Really?" I'm incredulous.
"Yes."
"But when I signed off last time, at the turn of the century I had to have an interview and there were more forms and ..." I seem to be asking the man for more beaucrassy.
"No. That's everything. I'll sort it out for you."
"Right... erm... thanks!"

And I leave. I just didn't expect the process of signing off to be that straighforward. But I suppose they're just happy to get rid of me ...

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